Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
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I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
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Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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