i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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