nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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