It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
