its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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