he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
