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On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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