Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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