btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
