what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
