I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
