dude i'm inner monologue high
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
