If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
