There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
