Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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