Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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