Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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