ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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