These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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