i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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