So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
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I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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