I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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