the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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