I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
