So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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