Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
