Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
