at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
