I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We named our party play list daddy issues
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
