so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
