it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
