Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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