I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
