At least make sure they are 18
Why
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
