He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
