i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
