Already got asked if we're dating
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
