You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
