Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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