On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
