Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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