lets start a swedish sibling band together
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize