also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
