It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
