question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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