We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She's the barista slut.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
