I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
