I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
