Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
