So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
