I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
