She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
