This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
