Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
