she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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