I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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