I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
