apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dicks are not precious.
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