youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize