had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize