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• (805): View more from California

  do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?

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• (516): View more from New York

  I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH

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• (360): View more from Washington

  his personality makes his face look like an asshole.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You made eat vitamins until I threw up

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (607): View more from New York

  he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.

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• (818): View more from California

  I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (631): View more from New York

  Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I believe they call that patchouli.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more

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• (530): View more from California

  so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, I found your gauge.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks

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• (716): View more from New York

  You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.

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