Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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