What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits