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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that

  Fav 26 2198 4498

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?

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• 

  19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.

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• 

  21 Worst Confessions on a First Date

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  I feel awful

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Physically or morally

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  I don't even want to know

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits

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