Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (353): View more from

  When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (353): When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head http://tfl.nu/g0x9
  Replies (14) Good night (1767) Bad night (3210)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name? http://tfl.nu/3tte
  Replies (6) Good night (811) Bad night (3740)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying... http://tfl.nu/9slh
  Replies (46) Good night (8816) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/4wb0
  Replies (17) Good night (1973) Bad night (5992)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck. http://tfl.nu/ymmz
  Replies (24) Good night (4428) Bad night (2218)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out http://tfl.nu/rbnc
  Replies (13) Good night (1480) Bad night (3277)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights. http://tfl.nu/u1l7
  Replies (4) Good night (2595) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party. http://tfl.nu/3bf6
  Replies (4) Good night (863) Bad night (1657)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing. http://tfl.nu/c56c
  Replies (2) Good night (995) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors. http://tfl.nu/zrt1
  Replies (5) Good night (674) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment" http://tfl.nu/bamr
  Replies (11) Good night (1315) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink. http://tfl.nu/rrfd
  Replies (2) Good night (1184) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated http://tfl.nu/yaej
  Replies (6) Good night (1145) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them http://tfl.nu/2gqy
  Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter. http://tfl.nu/6fb4
  Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (344)

Randomize