i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.