my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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