$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
All I want is dick and wine.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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