You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
