in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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