fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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