At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
