Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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