I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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