I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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