if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
